Link's Bad day
by Fierce-Deity-Mirror-Link
Summary: Stupid, in fact rated pg13 for it's stupidity.
1. 12:00 - 9:50

Links bad day  
  
I'm bored and I cant think of what else to do so I'm going to torture you with another boring fanfic, muhahahha… yes, well err yeah.  
  
1 A/n: I no its been done tones of times but oh well one more won't hurt  
  
Disclaimer: think of the most outrageously funny thing to put here and then tell me it. (me lazy never!)  
  
12:00 am  
  
I had just come back from exploring hyrule field and being beaten to one quarter of a heart by some of those incredibly annoying skeleton thingies when I crawled into my bed to get some rest. Of course when you get your health really low of course it starts to beep in the most irritating possible so I didn't get any sleep at all.  
  
6:00 am  
  
I finally managed to go to sleep.  
  
6:10 am  
  
Got woken by some dumbass fairy bitching at me and telling me to go see the great deku tree, so I unsheathed my sword and cut her in half. Unfortunately it's impossible to do that so I got beaten into the ground by the stupid invincible fairy.  
  
6:30 am  
  
Went to see deku tree after knocking some kokiri blocking the way unconscious with a deku stick.  
  
6:40 am  
  
Listened to great deku tree blab on, caught some shut eye.  
  
6:50 am  
  
Navi woke me by setting my clothes alight using her fairy powers so I bottled her for a trip to death mountain crater. Deku tree opened his mouth to let me go inside, so I grabbed a torch and threw it in.  
  
7:00 am  
  
Walked through the ashes and grabbed a stone.  
  
7:00 am  
  
Tried to go back to my bed but the guy I knocked unconscious woke up and started to beat me till I passed out.  
  
8:00 am  
  
Navi started slapping me to wake up, tried to punch her out but found out my hands were bound up.  
  
"In case you were wondering why I'm free it's because when you fell you landed on my bottle and freed me. If you're wondering why you're strung up it's because I've brought you a little surprise," Navi smirked, and in walked Mido and a gang of kokiri looking severely pissed off.  
  
"You see," Navi continued "the kokiri aren't very pleased with you burning down their tree and I'm beginning to dislike you as well so enjoy."  
  
9:00 am  
  
Finally escaped them by running out of the lost woods. Turned up in the Goron City. I climbed over the boulders (a\n – why didn't anyone think of doing that??) and ran out of there. I went to kakriko village and started to put all of the cuccos in their pen when a particularly annoying one started to run away I started to hit it with a deku stick until it started to stop moving, but it started to crow and call in reinforcements. I looked to the horizon only to find out it was completely blotted out by the figures of thousands of enraged cuccos.  
  
9:20 am  
  
Finally got to hyrule castle after only soiling two tunics and shredding my deku shield. Bought a new shield and walked to the castle.  
  
9:40 am  
  
Got a cucco, soiled another tunic because of it, and paid the guards their year's wage to let me in, that's right the sum total of 10 rupees.  
  
9:50 am  
  
Got hungry so I ate the cucco. I found a really fat guy sleeping so I kicked him till he woke up since I couldn't get any sleep so why should he. Went to the castle courtyard gave Zelda -  
  
I'm sick of writing now so if you want me to continue the story review and I will (hint hint) 


	2. umm... chapter2??

Sorry this is late peoples but I was doing other stuf..duh.. Neways here it is  
  
Links Bad day part two – without spelling misteakes!!  
  
Disclaimer- I own everything Zelda even the colour of the cartridge!! – whats that large man with a lead pipe doing outside my door??  
  
A\n Who wants to Know? – you have wwwwwwaaaaaayyyyyyyyy to much spare time on your hands  
  
Im gonna have to continue this exactly where I left off since I cant edit my other chapter because it reckons its an empty document nnnneeeeway  
  
9:50 am  
  
Gave Zelda stone I found, and fell asleep listening to Zelda yack on about some legend..  
  
10:00 am  
  
Why cant I sleep for more than 10 mins unless I get the shit beaten out of me? Zelda slapped me for falling asleep so I slapped her back and she got the guards to throw me out.  
  
10:20 am  
  
Decided I'd better go back to Zelda, showed her the stone, didn't fall asleep. Fell asleep.  
  
10:21 am  
  
Woke up in the hyrule fields and found a note in my pocket saying  
  
-Find the other spiritual stones or else ill kick your ass you lazy bastard!  
  
From Zelda-  
  
10:30 am  
  
Nicked a horse from Lon Lon ranch, ran over that little girl who was singing because she was giving me a headache.  
  
10:40 am  
  
the horse died after I kept on whipping it to go faster, had to walk.  
  
11:00 am  
  
Finally got to kakariko village (A\n- I know its like twenty steps but he walks very slloowwllyy)  
  
  
  
12:00 am  
  
Managed to get to the guard post after using three shields, four tunics and six faeries because of the super pissed of cucoos.  
  
12:10 pm  
  
Showed the guard Zelda's "letter" and he laughed at me because I was the only one to ever be able to make her swear, so of course I stabbed him with my sword and jumped the fence. Unfortunately my pants got caught on the spikes at the top.  
  
1:00 pm  
  
Still hanging from the fence, the guard has finally stopped beating me, he got tired so he let the insane cucoos have a go.  
  
1:30 pm  
  
Thanks to the almighty lazy author powers I managed to escape but if I told you how I did it I would then have to kill you…  
  
2:00 pm  
  
Finally reached the summit after being squashed by those spider things which I cant spell\remember their name about 150 times (it stops hurting after the 149th)  
  
2:30 pm  
  
Got kicked out after throwing bombs at every one and thing. Threw a bomb at the big rock. yada yada yada  
  
2:45 pm  
  
Walked inside the dodongo's skeleton's mouth and fell down the hole. I fell a little bit to the right and landed in the lava. The dodongo had the nerve to laugh at me!!  
  
4:00 pm  
  
Finally stopped slashing the dead carcass, I started to stab it instead.  
  
4:30 pm  
  
Tripped over and landed head first into the blue light, landed face first into the ground outside of the cave.  
  
4:32 pm  
  
Darunia came out and started to hug me so I nicked his wallet and a shiny red stone, then buggered off before they could catch me. They caught me  
  
5:00 pm  
  
I managed to survive their worst punishment, the great sitting on top of someone's head!!, I'm never gonna get that smell out of my hair though, don't they ever use toilet paper?!  
  
I'm gonna stop now because I don't think neone will want me to continue but thanks for your reviews dekugirl, Link in black, zelda and who wants to know ur stupid, but I aint complaining because it looks like I got tons of reviews  
  
  
  
Plz review or else ill attack you with my rusty banana!!, maybe I should stop taking those "Pills"…. (incessant mumbling-wow incessant is actually a word!) 


	3. It's done yay (good title hey?)

K pplz, this is the third time I started writing this sooo yeah- this has some link abuse cus he wrote my first flame :(  
  
Oh yeah, ne flamers out there, I will hunt u down and when I do this is what will happen:  
  
1.I'll give malon (is that her name??) tapes on do it urself how to sing and  
  
lock her in a room with u.  
  
2. I'll force feed ruto a vat of aphrodaesiacs (holy crap I spelt it right on the  
  
first try!!!) and lock u in with her *evil grin*  
  
3.I'll lock u in a room with mee!!!  
  
A/n: there was gonna be an a/n so I forgot- it happens sometimes :D ( I learnt a new one!!) :D  
  
Dammit- disclaimer: If u r pissed off at me or don't like my fic or whateva it's all Link's fault!  
  
  
  
Link's Bad day part three- with abnormally good spelling and some heavy Link abuse to make you grow big and strong!  
  
5:30  
  
went to zora's domain, finally ate some decent food, gotta luv fried fish!  
  
6:00  
  
got my ass kicked after trying to fry a zora with a magnifying glass  
  
6:05  
  
woke up in a big ass lake. I realised that it lead to zora's domain, so I hung a leak in it.  
  
6:30 (what'chya expect, he neva goes to the loo)  
  
finally stopped, wondered how the hell I took a piss with no fly or nething  
  
6:45  
  
got bored so I swam- found a bottle so I crapped in that and sent it to zora's domain to.  
  
6:50  
  
realised that I was swimmin in my own piss, so jumped out  
  
7:00  
  
got hungry, so was instantly teleported to zora's domain cus the author took a lesson in time and energy conservation (in other words, cus im a lazy ass).  
  
7:30  
  
finally got to top of stairs after 3 heart attacks and 2.4 strokes (don't ask)  
  
7:31  
  
patiently waited for king zora to move out of the way  
  
8:00  
  
measured and found out he only moved 3.128 mm, so I tossed him off the bigass waterfall  
  
8:04  
  
sliced a hole in the fish and walked in. found a fish thingy (ruto… for stupid ppl, horny fish that likes link) inside, so I kicked it for no reason  
  
8:30  
  
regained hearing in my left ear. Stabbed her cus she wouldn't shut up  
  
8:35  
  
sliced her head off and tossed it outside cus she managed to talk even tho she was dead  
  
8:40  
  
sliced thro all the walls in front of me (the designers missed a lot of things hey?) found somethin with a big but, so I stabbed it  
  
8:45  
  
climbed up on the spinning thing and found a rock, so I tossed it at the big-butted-thing's head and killed it  
  
9:00  
  
found my way out thro a unpleasant exit  
  
k, Im goin to stop now cus this chapter sucks, and im goin to post it cus ppl r getting annoyed at me :)  
  
im on holidays, so I should write more often and hopefully it wont be as crap  
  
thanks dekugirl, and cid e randomona or whateva for posting 1st and 35th review  
  
c yas 


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